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EDS & Menopause:Welcome to the Grand Unravelling

By Antonia@ UnremarkableMe

Menopause. It creeps in like a faulty smoke alarm—quiet at first, then suddenly screaming for attention at 3am. Add Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) into the mix, and it’s not just a hormonal hiccup. It’s your body pulling the rug out while you're still learning how to walk across it with dignity and a decent bra.

This isn't a gentle drift into wisdom and white linen. This is hormonal Jenga, and someone just yanked out three blocks at once.

Even without EDS, menopause is often treated like an embarrassing cousin no one talks about. You’re supposed to suffer through it quietly, armed with chamomile tea, a vaguely empowering podcast, and a candle that smells like moral support. Say the word "menopause" at work and you’ll see people blink like you've spoken in tongues—and not the fun, party-trick kind.

And if you do dare to mention it? Your boss suddenly looks like they’ve been handed a live eel. Cue a polite cough, a quick exit, and a workplace that quietly treats you like you're one hot flush away from a meltdown.


Now, Add EDS: The Bonus Level Nobody Asked For

Living with EDS means you're already on intimate terms with unpredictability. Your joints are freelancers, your skin is rebellious, and your energy levels resemble a faulty power grid. So when menopause rolls in with its hormone havoc, what happens?

  • Collagen throws in the towel. Which is just peachy when your body relies on faulty collagen to start with.

  • Joints that were merely opinionated become downright mutinous.

  • Brain fog evolves into a full-blown information blackout.

  • Fatigue doubles down—but now it's accessorised with sudden heatwaves and rivers of night sweat.

  • Mood swings? Picture crying because someone breathed near your sandwich and then giving your cat the silent treatment.

And just when you need informed care, you’re stuck navigating a medical relay race—passing the baton from your GP to your rheumatologist to your gynaecologist, none of whom seem to read each other’s notes or believe you're more than a collection of symptoms.


Even Without EDS, Menopause Deserves Better

Let’s be real: You don’t need a connective tissue disorder to feel like menopause is a series of trials designed by someone with a grudge against women.

Women are still routinely dismissed when they mention:

  • Hot flushes that make you feel like a baked potato under a grill

  • Sleep that vanishes just when you’ve finally stopped thinking about emails from 2017

  • Mood changes that have you questioning your moral character

  • Everything from bone pain to libido loss

...and the go-to advice? “Try some breathing exercises.” Which is about as helpful as suggesting a fan to someone trapped in a sauna.

We lose time, energy, self-esteem, and sometimes even our jobs, all while pretending that nothing's wrong because acknowledging it still feels taboo.


Trying to Get Help: A Masterclass in Misdirection

Speak up, and you’re met with:

  • “Well, that’s just ageing for you.”

  • “Maybe you need a holiday.”

  • “Are you sure you’re not overreacting?”

This one never gets old.

Meanwhile, research shows that one in ten women considers leaving work due to menopause symptoms. Around 900,000 UK women have already done just that. And yet, some workplaces still treat menopause like a punchline.


But Wait, There’s More: Myths, Misfires & Menopause Bingo

Let’s bust a few myths while we’re hot—literally.

🔸 Myth 1: Menopause Only Causes Hot FlashesNope. It’s the full body and mind reboot—mood swings, brain fog, insomnia, joint pain, anxiety, libido nosedives. It’s not just a thermostat issue. (Mayo Clinic)

🔸 Myth 2: Menopause Happens at 50Well, maybe. The average age is 51, but some women hit it earlier or later. Lifestyle, genetics, and conditions like EDS or PCOS can speed things up or delay them. (Healthline)

🔸 Myth 3: You Can’t Have a Sex Life After MenopauseRude. Plenty of people still have great sex lives post-menopause. It might require adjustments, communication, maybe a little lube—and fewer overhead lights—but it’s very much still on the menu. (Healthline)

🔸 Myth 4: Hormone Therapy Is Always DangerousNot always. Modern HRT is safer than past versions and can be transformative for many. You just need a provider who treats you like a human, not a liability.

🔸 Myth 5: If You Didn’t Have Kids, It’s EasierMixed bag. Research suggests childless women may reach menopause slightly earlier (UCL Study). Some studies say they might have fewer symptoms like vaginal dryness (PubMed), but nothing's conclusive. Spoiler: Every uterus has its own chaos plan.


Tiny But Mighty: A Christmas Cake Memory

I remember my grandmother—tiny, genteel, and quietly formidable—meticulously decorating a Christmas cake to look like a festive cracker. There were piped stars, ribbon details, a dusting of edible glitter. It was a masterpiece. I nipped off to the loo and returned just in time to see the whole thing fly through the air and land in the kitchen bin.

She didn’t swear. She didn’t explain. She just stood there, fists clenched, cheeks red. The woman who hand-stitched doll clothes and polished her teacups had just obliterated a cake she’d spent hours on. And we never spoke of it again.

Now? I understand.

That moment of fury wasn’t about the cake. It was years of unspoken expectations, hormonal upheaval, and a world that quietly told her to be pleasant, polite, and calm while her body played tricks on her.

We owe it to her—and to ourselves—to tell these stories. Because menopause isn’t a whisper. It’s a weather system. And we need to stop acting like it’s just a little breeze.


So What Do We Do?

We speak. We share. We advocate—not just for ourselves, but for the women around us who are still quietly powering through because no one made space for their reality.

Whether you’re living with EDS, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, or what the world deems a “normal” menopause—you deserve more than platitudes and peppermint tea. You deserve actual care.

And if someone tells you they’re menopausal, don’t joke. Don’t flinch. Don’t start mumbling about sage supplements. Just say, "How can I support you?"

Because it’s really not complicated. We already have enough complicated.


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