top of page

How to Complain (Constructively) When the NHS Gets It Wrong

By Antonia @ Unremarkable Me | Published June 2025

Let’s be honest: complaining about the NHS can feel a bit like yelling at your nan for burning the toast. You love her. She means well. But sometimes—despite best intentions—it all goes spectacularly wrong.

And when it does, especially for people with complex conditions like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Chiari malformation, or POTS, staying silent only allows those gaps to widen.

Yes, it may feel like kicking a dog when it’s already limping—but sometimes that dog needs a gentle nudge toward the vet. So how do you tell the NHS—politely, firmly—that something has gone very, very pear-shaped?

Let’s break it down.


Step 1: Start Local (But Not Too Local)

Begin with a simple, human approach. Speak to your consultant, GP, or a senior nurse. Maybe they were rushed. Maybe they’re not a great communicator. Sometimes, just asking for clarification or a review of notes can clear things up.

If not?That’s where PALS steps in—the Patient Advice and Liaison Service.

They’re the NHS’s built-in mediators: neutral, diplomatic, and often surprisingly effective.

Ask for them via your hospital’s main switchboard Or visit: www.nhs.uk/pals

They may resolve things informally, helping you avoid a full-on paperwork war. But if PALS can’t help—or if the issue’s serious—you’ll need to escalate.


Step 2: File a Formal Complaint (Without Sounding Like You Threw a Tantrum)

We get it. You’re upset. Maybe even furious. But when writing your complaint, structure is everything. Think legal brief, not rage tweet.

Here’s how to structure it:

  • Who, What, When, Where, Why – Include full names, dates, and details.

  • Evidence – Attach emails, letters, appointment notes—anything that backs you up.

  • Tone – Be assertive, not aggressive. You want to sound like someone who could go to the press… but hasn’t. Yet.

  • The Ask – Be clear about what you want: apology, second opinion, staff training, formal review.

Where to send it:Each NHS Trust has a complaints department. Search “[Your Trust Name] + NHS complaints” to find the correct contact.

Keep a copy of your complaint. Always.


Step 3: When You Get a “Sorry You Feel That Way” Response

Ah, the classic non-apology. If your Trust’s reply dodges accountability or skips your main concerns, it’s time to level up.

Escalate to NHS England (if your issue involves GPs, dentists, or local primary care):

Still no joy?

You’ve now unlocked final boss level:The Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman (PHSO). They review NHS complaints when local resolution fails—and they have the power to investigate.


Step 4: Call for Backup

Navigating complaints can feel like doing your taxes mid-migraine. Luckily, support is out there.

Independent Advocacy:Many local councils offer NHS complaints advocates who will help you write your letter, chase a response, or join you in meetings.

Healthwatch:

Your local Healthwatch is the NHS watchdog with bite. They collect public feedback, track systemic issues, and can help amplify your complaint if it speaks to a broader problem.


Step 5: Be Patient (Unfortunately, Yes, That Kind)

The process is not quick. Some responses take 20 working days, others months. The Ombudsman? Often 6 months+.

Keep yourself sane by:

  • ✅ Logging every call, email, and letter

  • ✅ Staying polite—but persistent

  • ✅ Following up regularly

Because sadly, in NHS complaints, the squeaky wheel doesn’t always get oil—but it might get a reply faster than a seasonal newsletter.


The Awkward Truth

You’re not trying to “ruin someone’s day.” You’re trying to protect your own.

The NHS is deeply flawed—overloaded, underfunded, and hanging together with tape and goodwill. But that doesn’t mean we should accept neglect, dismissal, or unsafe care. Especially not when you’re someone with a condition like EDS or Chiari, which already fall through cracks big enough to drive an ambulance through.

Speaking up doesn’t make you difficult. It makes you visible.

Every complaint is a small record of what’s broken. And maybe—just maybe—it nudges the system toward noticing.


NHS Complaint Letter Template

Use this as-is or add your own Shakespearean flair.


Your NameYour AddressPostcodeEmail AddressPhone Number

Date

To: Complaints Manager [Hospital / GP Surgery / NHS Trust Name][Address or Email]

Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding [Service / Appointment / Consultant] on [Date]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to raise a formal complaint regarding the care I received from [Name of Department / Specialist] at [Location] on [Date].

During my consultation, I experienced [brief summary – e.g., dismissive behaviour, refusal to investigate Chiari malformation, etc.]. This left me feeling [emotion—e.g., anxious, unsafe, or unheard], and I believe it falls short of NHS standards for compassionate and informed care.

Specific Concerns:

  1. [e.g., Consultant dismissed symptoms despite diagnosis of EDS]

  2. [e.g., No referral offered, contrary to NICE guidelines]

  3. [Optional: e.g., Rude or unprofessional communication]

I have attached [e.g., emails, referral letters, test results] to support this complaint.

Requested Outcomes:

  • A written apology acknowledging the issue

  • A second opinion or referral to an appropriate specialist

  • Reassurance that this incident will be reviewed and learning shared

I recognise the pressures the NHS is under and do not raise this complaint lightly. However, I believe honest feedback is essential for ensuring better care—especially for patients with rare or complex needs.

Please confirm receipt and respond within 20 working days, in line with NHS complaints policy.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Yours sincerely,

[Your Full Name]


Support Resources

Here are trusted links for anyone navigating this system:

Final Thought

The goal isn’t vengeance. It’s accountability—and sometimes, connection.

When you file a complaint, you’re not demanding perfection. You’re asking to be seen. To be heard. To be treated like a person whose life, pain, and medical history matter. That’s not unreasonable. That’s not selfish. That’s basic care.

And yes, it’s easy to villainise the NHS when you’ve had a terrible experience—but most of us know it’s more complicated than that.

Behind every frustrating appointment is often a consultant with ten minutes and twenty patients. Behind every missed diagnosis is a system cracking under impossible demand, short-staffed and tied up in bureaucracy. It’s not always about malice. Often, it’s about miscommunication, burnout, or simply not enough hours in the day.

But here’s the hard truth: being overwhelmed doesn’t excuse harm.

You can have compassion for the pressures healthcare staff face and still speak up when those pressures leave patients unseen, misdiagnosed, or dismissed. Especially when you’re living with conditions like EDS, Chiari, or POTS—things that already require more from you just to get through the day.

So make the complaint if you need to. Not out of spite, but out of care. Care for yourself. Care for the people who come after you. And even care for the system itself—because a system that doesn’t know where it’s failing has no chance of getting better.

You’re not here to attack the NHS. You’re here to ask it to do what it promises: help those in need.

And that? That’s something we all deserve.

Love Unremarkable Me


 
 
 

Comments

© 2025  Unremarkable Me

bottom of page