The Great “Catch-Up” Con: Why I’m Politely Declining the Productivity Hunger Games

This particular spiral began—as most do—with the emotional equivalent of a paper cut that got infected with capitalism. One too many emails screaming “URGENT” like the sender was defusing a bomb. One too many articles insisting I could revolutionise my life by waking up at 5 a.m., drinking something that looked like pond scum, and meditating until my chakras learned Excel. And one too many chirpy voices saying, “You’ll bounce back soon,” as if I were a human space hopper instead of a person with a nervous system held together by sheer spite and sarcasm.

I was going to write a lovely, balanced piece about why we all feel behind. But then I realised—this isn’t just a collective vibe shift. It’s a cultural con job. A Ponzi scheme for your self-worth.

Because the idea of “catching up”? It’s everywhere. It looms over the chronically ill, haunts the neurodivergent, and whispers judgment in the ears of anyone who didn’t tick every life box by age 25. And worse, it’s passed off as compassion.

“Don’t worry, you’ll catch up.”

Which sounds reassuring… until you realise the subtext is, “You’re obviously behind—and that’s a problem.”

But what if you’re not behind? What if the entire concept of “catching up” is a toxic illusion—like a motivational poster taped over a pit of existential quicksand?

The Productivity Timeline: Or, The Life Assembly Line from Hell

From birth, we’re quietly placed on what I like to call the IKEA conveyor belt of life. It comes with pre-drilled holes and deeply questionable instructions:

Crawl, Walk, Talk, School, Career, Marriage, Reproduce, Buy a house (good luck with that)

Die in a tasteful cardigan surrounded by loved ones and labradors.

But if anything knocks you off that timeline—say, a chronic illness, trauma, or just good old-fashioned systemic oppression—you’re not just inconvenienced. You’re “behind.” You’re defective IKEA furniture with two leftover screws and a wonky leg, and society looks at you like, “Well, that’s not what the diagram showed.”

It’s not just unkind—it’s absurd. Like blaming a sunflower for not blooming in January.

Catching Up to What, Exactly?

Say you do attempt to “catch up.” What, precisely, are you chasing?

• Financial stability? In this economy? Where disabled households in the UK face extra costs averaging £1,122 per month? That’s not “falling behind.” That’s trying to swim a triathlon in a weighted dressing gown.

• Physical wellness? In a healthcare system where you wait months for someone to tell you they might have read your scan, but they’re not sure because Dave was off sick and Sandra’s login expired?

• Mental clarity? When your brain is juggling symptoms, medication side effects, and whether or not you’ve put the laundry in the fridge again?

“Catching up” implies there’s a fixed destination—like you just took a wrong turn on the motorway and Siri can redirect you. But this isn’t a detour. This is your life. And the finish line keeps moving because it was never real to begin with.

Stillness Isn’t a Sin (Despite What Hustle Culture Preaches)

Rest, we’re told, is indulgent. Stillness is suspicious. If you’re not hustling, grinding, side-hustling, or launching a small Etsy empire, what even are you?

But here’s the truth hustle culture doesn’t want printed on a coffee mug: Rest isn’t lazy. Stillness isn’t failure.

And if you live in a body that needs rest to survive? That shame can become chronic, too.

You begin to confuse exhaustion for inadequacy. You start to believe that if you’re not producing—work, content, perfect vibes—you’re not worth anything.

But this isn't a flaw in your character. It’s a feature of a system designed to value you by your output, not your existence. Like we’re all robots on standby, waiting for our next KPI review instead of actual human beings, some of whom are navigating bodies that creak like haunted houses.

A Revolutionary Thought: What If You’re Already Doing Enough?

Here comes the radical idea, and I promise it’s not sponsored by herbal tea or crystals shaped like affirmations. 'Although I really do, like all though things "

You do not need to catch up.

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not a lost cause with dodgy WiFi and outdated firmware.

You’re a person—a real, brilliant, hilarious, deeply human person—moving through a world that was not built with your mind, your body, or your pace in mind. And you're still here. Still adapting. Still existing on days that make no sense. That, dear reader, is the definition of resilience.

Final Thought: Let the Timeline Burn (and Toast Marshmallows on the Ashes)

You are not failing. You are not lazy. You are not defective just because your life doesn’t look like a LinkedIn infographic.

You are alive. In this world. With this body. Doing your best. And that, my lovely's, is already revolutionary.

So let’s stop trying to win the productivity Hunger Games. Let’s stop measuring our lives in milestones we didn’t sign up for and timelines we didn’t agree to. Let’s stop pretending life is a spreadsheet we’re falling behind on—and start treating it like the chaotic, occasionally beautiful, frequently weird art project that it really is.

Rip up the script. Burn the timeline. Roast metaphorical marshmallows over its ashes and take a nap in the glow of your own damn resilience.

Because sometimes, the most rebellious, powerful, ground-shifting thing you can do isn’t pushing harder or catching up—it’s standing still, breathing deep, and saying:

“This is my pace. This is my path. And I’m not behind—I’m exactly where I need to be.”

Stuff You Should Absolutely Read

• Scope – Disability Price Tag 2024

• The Nap Ministry – Rest Is Resistance

• The Productivity Paradox – Psychology Today

• Why We Should Stop Obsessing Over Timelines – Forbes